Stopping to think of all the things I am having difficulty doing because of this illness has gotten me down for too long. Well, that is easy when you live in Florida and find that being in the sun makes you ill...
For all the reasons that I am feeling discouraged, surely this new take on life can help me think of the top reasons that life with an auto-immune disease really isn't so bad.
So here we have it...
The top five ways to stop living like a "sick person" and to embrace the inner diva!
1. You get to wear "divalicious" wide brimmed beach hats whenever you are outside for more than a few minutes. Can you say FAB-U-LOUS? No longer do you have to be concerned up looking like a crazy person by wearing a stylish hat in public...Wait? Is this Milan?!? No, I apologize, I just saw you in that glamorous hat and the Target parking lot just got a whole lot more sexy!
2. Putting on my moisturizer (Neutragena Age Shield SPF 110), I realized that if I keep this up at age 25, it's going to take a 3 pack a day smoking habit to give me a wrinkle. Hello smooth youthful skin!
3. So now that you are suited up to face mean Mr. Sun, you wouldn't dream of parking in the lot that might as well be located in Siberia. I'm now given the push I need to splurge the extra $50 a month and park in the hoity toity parking garage connected to my building. Whether or not you continue to speak with the commoners is up to you.
4. Everything fancy is good for you! Yoga, massage, acupuncture, Jacuzzis! Well, I might as well just bill Aetna right now for that spa package at the Vinoy (O.k. in my dreams!). Even if you are living on a budget...which I most certainly am...There are easy ways to embrace these activities and force yourself to take a little "me time" every day. Don't feel guilty about taking a bubble bath, just throw some Epsom salts in the mix and call it a medical treatment. Oh Husband!!! These shoulders aren't going to massage themselves!
5. Going to Disney World makes you a V.I.P. Simply by going to guest services and explaining what your limitations are at the park...(can't stand in line comfortably for long periods of time, get sick in heat and sun exposure). From there they will give you a special card that you show to the attendant at the attraction. This will get you ushered to the front of the line. With your glamorous hat the other guests will just think you are a chubby young Hollywood starlet.
I know for a fact that it's a bit difficult to feel sexy/feminine/stylish/in control when you are carefully scouting out the nearest trash can in case you get sick.
Promising myself right now...No matter how crappy I feel, I will try to do one nice thing for myself a day.
And because there is no way in hell I have the energy to straighten my hair everyday...I'm going to rock this ponytail like nobodies business!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
I wanted a baby...instead I got lupus.
8 pregnancy tests.
10 if you count the ones taken at various Dr.'s appointments.
When you are 25, newly married and constantly complaining of nausea and fatigue, most logical people would make that assumption.
The past 10 months have brought more random sick days than I can afford. While it never occurred to me at the time, these weekend days I have spent curled up on the couch all showed the same symptoms.
Even on my honeymoon, the last 3 days spent curled up weak and nauseous on the couch were chalked up to "massage poisoning". Not drinking enough water after a deep tissue massage seemed a more likely, explanation to severe joint pain, fatigue, nausea, muscle aches and a fever.
6 weeks ago, during Hubby's birthday getaway weekend, these symptoms came back.
We were out in Orlando, but I needed to cut our stay short and head home.
From this point on....I can't say things have become easier.
In this time I have gone through the cycles of grief, sometimes on a daily basis.
Work has been both a curse and a blessing during this time.
I am thankful to have reason to get out of bed everyday, no matter how difficult that has become, for friends who have surely noticed the change in my personality. I am blessed to be in a position with a large organization so that I am able to file for FMLA and I hope I am not terribly missed if I need to leave early.
But at the same time, I would give anything to work just ten hours less a week. To not have an hour commute each way, which honestly leaves me exhausted by the time I put my lunch in the fridge.
Coping with the changes I am having to make in my life has been an eye opening experience.
By writing about my journey, I am hoping to better understand myself and how I can use my passion for life, sense of humor and sheer determination to overcome the urge to just give up and and crawl into bed on most days.
So while I can't say a chronic illness has brought joy into my life like I imagined the news of a baby would, it has brought the sleepless nights, doctors bills and morning sickness.
So... maybe one day... But for now I'm going to try to look for the bright side of this life changing situation.
10 if you count the ones taken at various Dr.'s appointments.
When you are 25, newly married and constantly complaining of nausea and fatigue, most logical people would make that assumption.
The past 10 months have brought more random sick days than I can afford. While it never occurred to me at the time, these weekend days I have spent curled up on the couch all showed the same symptoms.
Even on my honeymoon, the last 3 days spent curled up weak and nauseous on the couch were chalked up to "massage poisoning". Not drinking enough water after a deep tissue massage seemed a more likely, explanation to severe joint pain, fatigue, nausea, muscle aches and a fever.
6 weeks ago, during Hubby's birthday getaway weekend, these symptoms came back.
We were out in Orlando, but I needed to cut our stay short and head home.
From this point on....I can't say things have become easier.
In this time I have gone through the cycles of grief, sometimes on a daily basis.
Work has been both a curse and a blessing during this time.
I am thankful to have reason to get out of bed everyday, no matter how difficult that has become, for friends who have surely noticed the change in my personality. I am blessed to be in a position with a large organization so that I am able to file for FMLA and I hope I am not terribly missed if I need to leave early.
But at the same time, I would give anything to work just ten hours less a week. To not have an hour commute each way, which honestly leaves me exhausted by the time I put my lunch in the fridge.
Coping with the changes I am having to make in my life has been an eye opening experience.
By writing about my journey, I am hoping to better understand myself and how I can use my passion for life, sense of humor and sheer determination to overcome the urge to just give up and and crawl into bed on most days.
So while I can't say a chronic illness has brought joy into my life like I imagined the news of a baby would, it has brought the sleepless nights, doctors bills and morning sickness.
So... maybe one day... But for now I'm going to try to look for the bright side of this life changing situation.
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